The New Atheism
Southwestern Journal of Theology
Volume 54, No. 1 – Fall 2011
Managing Editor: Malcolm B. Yarnell III
By William P. Farley. Phillipsburg: P&R, 2009. 233 pages. Softcover, $12.99.
William Farley has written an excellent book about the centrality of the gospel in Christian parenting. The thesis of the book states that, “Effective application of the gospel empowers parents to reach their children’s hearts” (40). With that in mind, Farley believes that the gospel provides everything a parent needs in order to succeed. Three experiences in his own life led him to this conclusion, the reading of the Bible, the influence of other couples in his church, and Reformed Theology, particularly the writings of Jonathan Edwards.
Farley begins the book by establishing five presuppositions the reader must adopt in order to apply his teaching. First, parenting is not easy. Parents need the grace of God during every stage of parenting. Second, parenting requires an understanding of both God’s Sovereignty and the parent’s responsibility to reach the child for Christ. Third, parenting that is effective involves an offensive approach. Fourth, Christian parents must have a clear grasp on the concept of new birth. To be born again is to experience a radical change and a new direction in life (28). Fifth, Christian parents center their lives around God, not their children.
The greatest strength in Farley’s book is its deep theological framework. Throughout the book the author avoids presenting parenting techniques. Instead he asserts that the fear of the Lord is at the heart of gospel-powered parenting. The fear of God, according to the author, unleashes the blessing and favor of God upon the family. He defines the fear of God as the realization that sin “always has consequences” (60). After establishing the fear of God as a firm foundation, Farley presents a theological explanation of the holiness of God, the wrath of God, and the infinitely offensive nature of sin (93). He also explores in detail the gracious gift of God offered through faith in Christ. Farley concludes this section by explaining the costly price God paid to redeem human kind from a helpless state. The remainder of the book addresses principles of leadership, fatherhood, discipline, spiritual training, and love.
The first principle is leading by example. Farley believes that modeling a godly marriage is the most powerful example a parent can offer the child. The greatest obstacle to becoming a godly example, on the other hand, is pride. The second principle highlighted by the author is the prominent role of the father. Throughout the book Farley emphasizes that “Christianity is a patriarchal religion” (125). Therefore the chief parent is the father. The third principle is discipline. The author encourages parents to adopt the following steps, expect obedience on the first command, put discipline in the context of love, reference scripture, break the child’s self-will, hold the child until he stops crying, rehearse the gospel, and invite the child to express repentance. The fourth principle is spiritual training which Farley compares to feeding the child a good spiritual diet. The author believes that teaching must be formal after the age of six. The last principle is love. Farley firmly believes that in order to love children biblically, the parent must always love God more. The love and fear of God compel the parent to love the child selflessly and sacrificially.
Toward the end of the book Farley also addresses the importance of affection in the Christian home. “Unless children feel their parents’ love and acceptance, they will probably not internalize the lessons” the parent is trying to teach (205). The hallmarks of affection are focused attention (spending quality time with each child), eye contact, physical contact such as hugs and holding, and words of affirmation and encouragement. Farley concludes the book with a message of hope and comfort for parents. He asserts that the task of raising godly children is impossible without the grace of God. Mistakes and failures according to the author, are unavoidable, therefore the gospel is once again the parent’s secure anchor. The guidance and forgiveness every parent needs are available at the cross.
Farley presents a strong argument for gospel-powered parenting. His focus is on a biblical philosophy of parenting, rather than on a series of steps to follow. However, he does offer some practical suggestions. He successfully defends his thesis with a strong theological foundation and a solid biblical understanding. He triumphs at communicating his deep fear of God, his love for his family and his desire to encourage parents to do likewise.
