“It turns out, God is more patient than I am.” This is a phrase I’ve found myself repeating, somewhat tongue-in-cheek, over the last six years when describing how the Lord has directed my steps in ministry.
Behind that admission is, of course, an intellectual agreement about God’s patience. But my wife and I have been confronted with the importance of theological facts going from true to real in our lives. The beginning of that journey in early 2019 involved God’s gentle calling to leave my full-time ministry job in Oklahoma and enroll in seminary. Up until then, I had scoffed at the idea that formal theological education could offer me anything I really needed. The men and women I admired in the faith were formed, as far as I knew, by rigorous devotion to spiritual disciplines like prayer and scripture memory. Why should I need anything more?
But, the Lord is longsuffering and met me where I was at, showing me enough of the value of biblical studies to move me, my wife, and our newborn to Fort Worth, Texas. Somewhat abruptly, I became a full-time student at Southwestern Seminary (SWBTS).
God Opened My Eyes
During my very first semester, God opened my eyes to the extraordinary value of seminary education. During lectures and discussions in my Systematic Theology class with Madison Grace, it dawned on me that nearly all of my heroes had received theological training and that their impact on my life had included unspoken guidance away from doctrinal “ditches.” This burdened me afresh to be the best student of theology I could be, so that I could be a faithful guardian of truth for all those I would lead and guide in the future
Having invested my life in full-time college ministry for six years prior, I showed up to every class with real-life ministry scenarios in mind. Because of that, I probably raised my hand to ask a question about five or six times per class period. My thirst for understanding concepts and principles was fueled by a strong desire to implement them in practical ministry. I’m happy to say that my SWBTS professors did not disappoint! In every subject, I was challenged by foundational principles and ideas that refined my ideas of ministry.
Deeper Still
Though I’d come to an honest and unexpected appreciation for what this season of seminary had been providing me, I wasn’t prepared for God’s next word to me: “Slow down even more.” My classes and my reflections had rounded out a season of thoughtfulness that began bearing fruit with every new assignment. But God made it clear that thoughtfulness is not enough — I needed my character deepened as well. Through exploring some opportunities to serve overseas as missionaries, my wife and I were surprised and even dismayed to find out that our mentors did not recommend launching into career ministry yet. They counseled us to stay put and work on some character deficiencies first. “What do you mean?!” my heart objected, “I’ve been in career ministry before!”
But the Holy Spirit reminded me of what 2 Timothy 2:21 says: “If anyone cleanses himself from what is dishonorable, he will be a vessel for honorable use, set apart as holy, useful to the master of the house, ready for every good work.”
Mercifully, these timely words had their effect, and the Lord had his way again, thrusting me and my wife into a multi-year ministry development process through a training program at our church and campus employment at the seminary. These experiences gave me more time to grow in areas like self-control, submission, and patience. Looking back, I’m especially grateful for the lessons I learned during my final three years in Fort Worth.
Possibly the greatest blessing in this season of “waiting” was life-changing exposure to godly leaders who humbly served me and modeled a Christ-like approach to what God had given them. Hebrews 13:7 says, “Remember your leaders, those who spoke to you the word of God. Consider the outcome of their way of life, and imitate their faith.” Just to name one example, hardly a week goes by that I don’t recall and imitate something I learned from Armando Hernández, my supervisor in the Admissions Office, who consistently modeled servant leadership and godly perseverance.
God Won’t Settle for Mediocre
If you had told me in 2018 that I’d spend six years in Fort Worth awaiting God’s direction, I might have cried … But now I am so thankful that God is more patient than I am. Not a single moment has been wasted. I’m still not fully formed, but an important truth has become very real to me now – I hope it can be real for you too: God won’t give up on equipping us with everything we need for his assignment, no matter what it takes. Our waiting is not wasted.
