When I began my doctoral studies at Southwestern Seminary, I was after a degree. I came for the development of skills and the credentials that would be needed to teach in an undergraduate or graduate context. However, during my studies, while I developed skills and achieved my desired credential, I also developed in ways that I did not expect. Scholarship became a form of sanctification, and I’ve never been the same.
Humility
First, I grew in humility. It’s hard to stay arrogant in the presence of wisdom. Being around people who are smarter, have read more books, and are more knowledgeable than you has an edifying effect on your soul. Seeing how peers and mentors have loved God with their minds and observing the fruit of that study borne out in clear, cogent writing and speaking that is learned, glorifies God, and builds others up is challenging in the best of ways. I could not help but notice what I myself lacked as a scholar. But, the effect this had on me wasn’t to try to match their greatness but rather to be faithful with what the Lord has granted to me. In this way, my time at Southwestern was incredibly humbling. I grew increasingly at ease with the kind of humble posture that considers, without jealousy or shame, others as greater than myself (Phil. 2:3).
Charity
Second, my Ph.D. studies developed me in charity. I was pushed to engage with authors with whom I sincerely disagreed. My professors insisted that I summarize their arguments accurately and charitably, appreciating whatever could be appreciated about their positions before voicing my critiques. The rigor of this process sharpened my thinking and writing, but it also shaped my soul. It was hard work. And, as is the case with formal study, the fact that I was invested financially in the challenge kept me from abandoning the work midstream. Had I been trying to do this on my own, I would have bailed out and missed the formation. This process shaped me in profound ways after the program. How do I interact with someone with whom I disagree? How do I work through our differences? What is my posture toward them? My time spent around seminar tables and at my computer late at night engaging with scholars with divergent opinions grew me in charity. Where once might have fostered disdain and contempt blossomed grace and love.
Friendship
Third, I also learned friendship in the process. I had the privilege of being thrown into the lions’ den of academia with other men and women who were pursuing the same educational goals. This process forced us to learn how to help one another, be vulnerable with one another, and be both honest and kind as we engaged one another’s thoughts, arguments, and research. Importantly, I learned this as much through example as I did through practice. I was able to watch and learn from others as they chose to ask for, offer, and receive the help we all needed. So many peers and mentors come to mind as I think about this quality. Looking back, this was a delightfully surprising and rewarding benefit of my studies. Further, the network of friends I developed is still intact more than a decade later.
Fortitude
Finally, I would point to fortitude. Ph.D. work is difficult and demanding. It’s time consuming, mentally challenging, and routinely caused me to ask the Lord if it was time to quit. Again and again, He confirmed that I was where I was supposed to be. In retrospect, the process developed my fortitude well beyond what I brought with me into the program. Whether you’re a published scholar or a potato farmer, the Christian life requires incredible perseverance. God could have grown my fortitude any number of ways, but He chose to do so through the crucible of doctoral studies.
I have not arrived in virtue or wisdom. Far from it. I am surrounded by saints in my local church and beyond (saints who do not have the degrees I have) who display the fruit of the Spirit in ways I pray will be true for me some day when I grow up. Nonetheless, I am grateful for the way God used my time in the Southwestern Ph.D. program to develop me in these areas. I came for the skills and the degree, but the Lord grew me in ways I never expected.
